Naina peered out of the line. It would take definitely another hour before her turn would come up. Tired she sat down awaiting her turn.
As soon as she sat down her thoughts started to wander to the household. She wondered if Sanu, her eldest had fed her sister and her grandmother. Eleven years old but already grown up, Sanu was her only help with the household work. Well past her eight month of pregnancy, there was very little that Naina could get done nowadays.
By the time she had finished her so called, namesake “check-up” at the health center and started for home, it was already noon. Under the scorching sun, with pangs of hunger creeping in, she went along the path leading to her village. Arriving home by dusk, she immediately lay down at the corner by the kitchen floor.
Nothing eventful happened that night. Her mother-in-law’s usual sarcasm and her husband’s drunken ramblings continued. Her husband had stopped beating her months ago with an expectation that the present child she was carrying might be a son. Her only comfort came from Sanu, more of a mother than a sister to her sibling; caring had come naturally to her. Naina watched as her daughter dutifully finished the household chores.
She reminisced how she had shared the same burdens and similar bond with her mother before she was married off at the age of 17. Marriage did not change her status or her workload. The only change was that she had to share her bed with her husband, everything else the cooking, cleaning, mothering remained the same. Marriage had in fact had added additional torments like domestic violence at the home front.
Being a mother a year later, she recalled how she grew up overnight with the birth of Sanu. She had to bear the scorn of her in-laws for bearing a daughter. But she paid no heed to it, she had loved her daughter since the first moment she was wrapped and handed over to her by the Dai. The hours of pain followed by exhaustion all bundled up before her; Naina adored Sanu, the only glimmer of in her dark life.
The joy was however short-lived; no one, her husband nor anyone else had time to rejoice or look into the miracle of birth. Nobody understood that she felt special because of the bond of motherhood. By the time of her second pregnancy at 21 and the birth of her second child- a daughter again, even she had ceased to believe in that special bond. The only thing she felt relieved about was that during the course of the pregnancy, her husband would stay away from her. She had come to understand that pregnancy was just an additional burden forced on women.
As Naina lay down to sleep that night, she prayed silently that her third child would be a boy so that she would not be cast aside for a younger girl by her husband. Her mother-in-law had refused all help towards her delivery and was already in search of a new young bride for her son. It seems she had foreseen that Naina’s third child would only be another girl, an additional burden to her household.
In fact it was the situation that prompted Naina to seek the health centre and avail some assistance. But the actuality was that, she was allowed by her husband to go to the center because of a new scheme called “Janani Suraksha Yojana.” She did not quite understand this scheme except that her family could receive money after her delivery. The local health worker had explained to her husband, but she did not get to talk to her.
Naina delivered a girl child; a week earlier before the due date. Though she was eventually taken to the Community Health Center, she delivered the baby on the way in a deserted location outside the village, assisted by an old woman (the only person who could be spared for her by the family). Naina did not survive to know if she her last child was also a daughter.
It was not much of a difference to her husband; he knew she would undergo family planning. He was thinking about the young girl that he was going to take as his wife.
Sanu felt lost but did not have the luxury of time to mourn; she had another child to look after…..
Her family received the Rs.900 (The actual amount being Rs.1500) from the ASHA (who earned Rs.100/month) the next day…
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